fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
