John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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