You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize