if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
