idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
