I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
