this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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