Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
