i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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