Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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