I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
