You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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