garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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