Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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