I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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