On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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