i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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