They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize