her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
