your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
