They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what day is it and did you see me today?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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