my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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