i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
