I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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