Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
