well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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