So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
