You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
