Already got asked if we're dating
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
