Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
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we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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