So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
ttyl tear gas
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize