she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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