Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
