coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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