yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
