ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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