I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
