Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
