whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
