he puts the penis in happiness.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
