If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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