Porn is love you can see.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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