PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
