I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize