No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
