It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
