He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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