The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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