Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
