but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
