"it" just moved
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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