ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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