I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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