fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just had sex on a roof
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
