He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
