i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
