Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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