Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize