Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
