sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I deserve this hangover.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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