bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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