a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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