so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
