I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You ruined the universe
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
