My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
did you just send me my own nude
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
