On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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